Sunday, Sunday

要想别人不知道，除非你不说不做。否则这个年代，信息爆发的年代，还是很容易别人发现你的各种小秘密的。

那等到可以说的时候，我再来说。

附送下列内容：

最近我学会了两件事：第一是要增加自己对各种差异的容忍度，第二是自我控制不论是情绪还是脾气。好像这两点也是相关的，其实我也没学会！只是正在学习中。希望作为27岁的大龄剩女，不要再做那么多傻×的事情。

还有，祈祷我的爱情赶紧到来。。。

神啊，我要谈恋爱。因为如果你再告诉我，两个人在一起其实不会比一个人轻松，我也愿意接受，因为毕竟是两个人的生活，比一个人轻松那是苛求的想法，即使有可能出现。我只是觉得为了两个人在一起的快乐，辛苦也值得，而且可以做成很多一个人做不成的事情。

我准备好了

I don't know why I am so determined. People say Virgos always go from one extreme to another extreme.

人家问我周一一点到三点或者周二三点以后什么时候方便打电话，我说周二晚上八点，要么周三；人家问我什么时候有空做个面谈，想想大概理财计划对我有点用，所以我说十一月吧……人家说你看能不能这样解决或者那样解决，我说我不要没法解决。人家说你不行，我非要人家说清楚到底哪里哪里不行……我厌恶了人家不接电话不回短信，为什么你不能安静一下让我自己待会儿？我厌恶了工作outlook一关我管你什么时候要东西，你想什么时候是你的事，我不想。

太极端了。

我只是太累了。

so tired, nearly exhausted. I hate this word "exhausted". I used to use it at the first place when I knew this word. Then I felt sick about the people who were using this word to tell others how busy their work be. How much tired can be called as exhausted?

But, I am just tired. I have been put on too much, responsibilities, troubles, work, concerns...time is never enough for me to finish my targets. I hardly can remember what I was planning to do to say what I am not good at. Why should I do these, these disgusting things, not in my own usual way but in a seemingly better way. Who makes me no choice? Why life always sucks?!!!!

I am upset. I am depressed. I am unhappy. I don't like it at all. But I am gonna say nothing. Ｉwill endure it till I can't. I will do it, choosing my own way instead the better way and bear the consequences it follows.

It is called the price.

其实，我本来想说为什么传说中的“天将降大任于斯人也……”这句话从来没错过。但是我马上就想到了答案，因为没到这种痛苦的程度，人们不会想到这句话也不会觉得天将降大任于自己。所谓的正确答案，都是自己匹配的。就像你说我爱你，谁告诉你这是对的？你问你自己的心，她知道正确答案。

所以极端就极端了。我说这是对的，它就没错。

我会变成自己讨厌的人吗？不会。I am just trying to get what I deserve and be whom I am, never less never more.

从前些日子就在想，其实生日也没什么。所以自己就不怎么在意了，于是同学发短信要一起吃饭的时候我还觉得不是应该下周吗？没想到这一天就这么快到来了~

还是对自己说，生日快乐！特定去买了蛋糕，很功利的就为了许愿:p. 结果酷圣石家的mm拿着一包蜡烛对我说这种可以吗？然后我满心欢喜的答应了之后，她却忘了帮我放进盒子里！

如果是你的生日，别人没给你蜡烛你会怎样？还好家里有蜡烛有打火机。forget about it, just be happy!

话说今天路上人烟稀少，我觉得可能是很多人都去看盗梦空间了。路过影院还有人在兜售电影票。Since when we Chinese people have to buy tickets from this guy instead of to buy tickets directly from the theatre to watch a good or maybe just a so-called good movie?! It is all because of Avatar and this 3D thing! Although I was still thinking I would go to see imax 3D for inception, now I am giving up. Maybe later, I will go check on it, to see if it is really hard to buy the ticket or if it still costs as expensive as Avatar....

My roommate just came back late and asked if I would like to have a drink. I said no then he replied happy birthday to me. Yeah, he remembered. He is Virgo. Virgo remembers everything and it sucks, especially for man I think.

I also received msg from my ex-bf this morning. It was wired to get his message by calling me just the first name. How could he do this. It didn't hurt but it was disgusting...ok, maybe I sort of overreacted. Never mind, people lives the way they want, they should and they deserve.

And for now, I don't know why I am writing blog post in English. It is not hard for me to write down this, at this level...maybe I am starting to think in English. Anyway it is good, for now.

I am not enjoying to reading other people's blog in English. I guess others would be just the same. I just get lucky cause it seems I don't have many visitors. Ok, stop talking crap. I should go to sleep, and good night!

May your dreams come true. And same to myself!

这是我发明的，叫小龙包，为什么叫小龙包呢？因为是给小白龙做的。

为什么不叫小白龙包？因为不是小白龙包的。

今天杜拉拉问王伟，是不是可以考虑见她的父母。王伟没有回答，而是哼了许巍的蓝莲花“没有什么能够阻挡 我对自由的向往”……

我吧，最近真的是累死了。当别人说我也很累啊，或者轻描淡写的安慰我的时候，我就特别火大。老是觉得别人不知道我真正有多累。不管我要怎么描述，事情做不完没时间睡觉，还是原来两个经理一个我的部门现在变成了我加三个实习生（plus原来的经理一个是多年律师现在在某公司做法务总监还有一个是四年律师现在在律所继续做律师原来在这里焦虑的满头痘痘现在我一个人却还多了好几个项目）……我不是想说我有多大本事，或者想证明我真的活多时多压力大，但其实说这些都没用。

电视里那些得了老年痴呆症的人，被人一摸就哇哇大叫，像哪里被触痛了一样，脆弱的不能承受来自外界的任何东西。

我就是，不需要同情，不需要安慰，也不需要比较。

在那么一霎那，我的目的只有一个：找个靠谱的好青年养我。我要退休。

******

LT同学昨天说，我给你介绍个靠谱青年吧，35岁的摩羯座，长得不错又有钱心理没问题。那我说他这么靠谱怎么靠到35岁还没有初恋过？

不过她是这样的。有天给我看淘宝上一件衣服说你买吧很适合你。我说我不喜欢，也没我喜欢的颜色了。然后她很生气地说：拉到！所以昨天我说，可以见。[最近我很哈“可以xxx”这个句式。]

晚上想想又帅又有钱又传说靠谱，干吗不见。

*****

前两天，我梦见浙大今年本科招生没有招满。昨晚我梦见公司仅有的internal hr王同学辞职了。她跟我说她还有两个月就可以休假去了。

听说了这件事，我非常惊讶失落，内心波澜起伏，并且当场失控：为什么？你才进公司这么短时间居然就走了。应该我先走才对，你为什么先我一步。我这么累我早就想走了我不要做了我要辞职……

早上起来，左腿第三次抽筋。真怕哪天这条腿就抽废了，连续有针对性的抽筋……我老觉得是不是缺钙，今天部门的小姑娘告诉我是累得。我xxx。